Creative(s)

As an artist/photographer I don’t want to be classified into being one ‘style’ or ‘type’ of photographer.  I desire the freedom to create.  I love all the freedom photography allows me.   I am not a sketch or paint artist.. that would take too much focus and patience, something I feel I have little of (although my husband might argue that when trying to get me to stop working on a project after 9 hours straight editing).  When I was in college taking photography I vividly recall a semester covering surreal art and surreal artists in photography…. this was when all we had was darkrooms and enlargers for creating our works.. it was all done ‘in camera’.  I remember being very frustrated and somewhat feeling tongue tied wishing I could paint or draw and not be limited like I was with the medium I was in.    Anyhow,  I don’t remember the assignment but I remember drawing sketches of bodies being musical instruments and musical instruments being food and somehow trying to take pictures of that… I recall failing that semester.. and I recall the reality check of being a ‘PHOTOGRAPHER’ and I shifted focus on being a product photographer.   It took hours to set up a shot, check lighting, a gel a light for the right color then add fog or other to add some atmosphere etc.  I really did not enjoy it but I did love the creative geniuses’ I was surrounded by and would watch them create amazing works.  We would chat and dissect our assignments and ideas it was a great time for creating.. even within the constraints of the assignments.  What lacked however was the freedom to just create for the fun of it.  There was always an agenda, a grade or a person to impress or please.   As a creative my greatest desire is to create, and a good portion of the time I have no idea why I create what I create… I just follow the spark.    At times I feel like I did in my 3rd semester in college, where I feel I failed.. but then that means I feel I am being ‘marked’ or judged on my work – and maybe I am – but the question then comes up - who am I creating for?