'Sometimes all you can do is climb to the top of the mountain of your troubles to see things a little differently.'
It has been a while since I have created and posted any new work. I have been shooting but mainly for commissioned pieces... when I did have time to do my own work I was never inspired. I think that is common for alot of creative people. We go through periods of constriction, of tightness.. perhaps it is exhaustion (I did just have my images up for the month of March and that was AWESOME), perhaps it is a period of quiet before we have our next brilliant birthing of creation. It has happened in the past, and I used to get a little concerned that my 'inspiration' was gone... and I would dive into that dark place of judgement. This time was a little different, you see I had what I am calling my come to Jesus moment in March - 2 days after my hanging. I got a good scare and all of a sudden mortality was top of mind for me. I was not sleeping well because of the anxiety, and eating went up and down.. looking at my camera made my stomach turn and trying to sit down to edit an image, well that was just fruitless. The thing is I had a huge mountain of things that pulled me in and caused constriction, and darkness and worry. So I took the time to do some re-evaluating of things I take for granted. I mean really looked at it, the things that I complain about (aches, pains and discomforts) daily struggles that seems like the end of the world, my anxiety and self induced attacks..it was all put into perspective for me. I climbed that mountain to see from the top that my view is quite stunning, that I am the only one who lives in this body of mine, and we ( my body and my brain) need a better relationship because I have been well taken care of for the most part by my body, no matter what I threw at it, that people around me are struggling as well in their own way, and we are all slowly marching to the end and what we do with our time and in our body is our choice. We can dive into darkness ( I will visit there for a while but not overstay my welcome) or we can keep on climbing. To everyone reading this.. keep on climbing the view will be amazing.